Life as an Ass

For many years I’ve been fighting against those who try and have multiple “Fuck Buddies” or “Friends with Benefits”, even thinking of the former phrase makes me cringe. Friends and I alike have been hurt by these people, creating messes of tangled emotion which I have had to tidy away…So why do I find myself in a situation where I am mutating in to the monster which I have been fighting all this time.

July 2015, I began dating this Girl, Girl A for the purposes of this exert of my life, she is fantastic, everything that would fit in to “My Type”. However with University and other commitments we have seen each other four times since the start of September never being able to secure the titles of Boyfriend and Girlfriend keeping it a relationship very much emotional rather than physical.

Fast forward to New Years Night. The events of which are quite surreal. Getting progressively intoxicated over the evening leading combined with reconnecting with an old friend unseen for over three years…a girl… a close friend of Girl A. How the situation of 00:02 to 01:30 came to be is something out of a B Movie as the protagonist went from counting down and screaming “Happy New Year” to chanting the name of a fourth tier footballer to kissing this second girl, Girl B, much to the shock of everybody at the party. But as programmed at 00:03 my phone sent a message to Girl A, attending the celebrations in London, professing my feelings for her. Whereas my physical self had moved in to the kitchen to get some food where the make out restarted with Girl B and continued in various locations all over the house.

The morning after, seeing if Girl B was OK  I discovered  that she hadn’t been drunk like she had made out and that she aimed to get something physical from the start. To any normal guy this would be brilliant a girl that is finally physically available and interested in me, but I’m not any normal guy and as such I have not heard anything from either Girl since the 2nd of January thinking that both girls know about what has happened. No contact from the one I have cared about for so long has been killing me, never knowing when her number will pop up again.

That brings me to the coming weekend where I am supposed to be attending a group night out. A group which for one time only contains both of the girls. Even if Girl A is still unaware of what is happening my body language favouring either or neither girl will swiftly result in questions being raised and stories being told leaving me imprisoned in a lose-lose situation in front of my friends.

What I’m getting at here is as it may all sound cool to have more than one person after you and being fun making out, this time has been a nightmare and a ruinous start to 2016. It doesn’t just affect you or even just the people involved as emotion always rubs off on to others. Only by divine intervention or an act of cowardice will I escape tomorrow night with my happiness and social dignity in tact. Don’t be like me, don’t be an asshole, don’t be a player because one day, no matter how long it takes and out of the woods you feel, it will bite you in the ass and your world will implode

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