Train Like a Pro 2016- May Review

This month’s variation should have been one predominantly about having a learning curve, however it turned out to be more about overcoming obstacles such as illness, having no gym for a third of the month, having a lack of space which prevented the action of some of the individual exercises which required me to be able to have a full range of motion of all of my limbs while being on the floor and moving home.

However despite not being able to optimally improve physically, I was still able to gain a lot of knowledge about this relatively new training and exercise style, definitely new to me. As the name suggests and as I touched on briefly in previous Train Like a Pro 2016 posts the whole premise behind the concept is to replicate movements similar to those produced by animals as we have seen some of the great physical conditions that they have in order to survive and maintain their positions in the metaphorical food chain, removing the need for additional weights other than your body mass.

Initially the exercises I had seen were predominantly for working the legs, in particular the quadriceps and hamstrings with a static hold with hands and toes in contact with the floor with right angles between arms-shoulders, at the knees and at the hips with the legs raised an inch or two off of the floor (Undetermined specific animal) and the monkey swing movement where lowered in to a deep squat standing on the balls of your feet you sway side to side using your arms to gain momentum and the idea is to maintain your balance similar to the other static hold. However my favourite exercise from the month has been the Pike Push Up where starting in a Downward Facing Dog Yoga Pose you lower your head toward the floor and push back up working the shoulders as well as the pectoral muscles. This is a workout which does the same job as an incline press/push machine within a gym however I prefer this movement due to the fact that it uses your own bodyweight rather than a set weight of stepped value, thus in my case giving a more intense exertion of the muscles. This has placed the Pike Push Up, joint top of my bodyweight exercises list with the Typewriter Push Up and the V-Up Ab Exercise.

As you would expect with the reasoning above I did not reach my weight goal of 150lbs by the end of may weighing in this morning at 143lbs which would have been a disappointing result had I not understood the several challenges faced over the past five months as well as acknowledged the fact that at no point had I used Protein Supplements of any form yet I have noticed physical size and strength gain over the period. Looking towards my next “goal” of getting myself in an optimal physical condition to compete in Rugby Union (Or Rugby Sevens) next season and especially next months sport of the Decathlon it will be difficult to measure all of the components of fitness so if possible with a new gym membership starting June 1st I will attempt to measure progress via the speed and distance figures achieved from working out on resistance added aerobic machines. Within Rugby Union for a person to maintain a high physical workrate for 80 minutes or more will be crucial to my overall performance therefore aerobic endurance will be a key factor, arguably more so in Rugby Sevens with the high intensity, non stop action, 14 minute matches at tournaments with at least 3 matches per day (Normally in the space of a couple of hours). My current best performance regarding this has come on the Cross Trainer (X-Stepper) machine at half resistance with 4.21km (2.62miles) achieved in 22 minutes, an average speed of 11.4kph (7mph), I cannot wait to continue to work on this as well as see how the circuit training element of Decathlon training assists with this.


An International Undressing of the State of Nudity-A Condemnation of the Dick Pic

It is a distressing time in society when more mobile phones have seen an individual naked than actual people. Have we as human beings become so comfortable with our image and sexuality that we would be open to having ourselves at our most vulnerable on display for someone else to see, possibly random strangers. An image which can be kept, duplicated and shared. Rather than the opposite being that we are so insecure over how we put ourselves across that we are scared to reveal ourselves in person, instead using the Internet to put ourselves across with the hope that this is not leaked to the wider public. Recently there has been backlash against the phrase and notion that “If you don’t want a nude to be leaked then don’t take one”. However I cannot argue against this phrase as if you remove the stigma which could cause the pain from existence and prevent it from existing in the first place then there will be no problem. Furthermore if somebody requires you to send “Nudes” to keep you together or to keep them interested, you should reconsider whether you should be with them as it appears that there is very little that makes up their mind, something which anybody else could easily give to them, making it easy to draw them away.

In the same light Mary Cooper from American Sitcom, The Big Bang Theory, queries a young female who wears revealing clothing saying, “Are you letting the guys have a ride on the rollercoaster without making them buy a ticket?”, are we being too open with ourselves in this respect, reducing the almost luxury nature of intimacy. As young teenagers we all had that feeling of half nerves, half elation when for the first few times we got to see someone that we liked partially or fully nude, to the degree where we almost had no idea how to act. But this anticipation as somebody undresses or sense of secretive revelation has been lost as we, more disturbingly especially young teenagers (13-14) are more open and readily willing to hand over a picture of ourselves, revealing all, sacrificing all sanctity maintained.

I myself am guilty of falling towards this category of people who has taken pictures that could be classed as sexual however at no point have I been fully naked or shared the pictures with any individual or the online community. The purpose behind these images? To track fitness progress, once per month as advised, take pictures of yourself so that you have a physical record of progress among your fitness journey. This being said I can only think of one other acceptable reason for sending or exchanging explicit images with somebody, reason being that they are sent between long term partners, normally married couples who live or work apart for long periods and want to keep that kind of fire burning in their relationship. In this  case the individuals know each other inside and out (no pun intended) and can trust each other to not share the items with others, keeping the privacy and exclusivity.

An area of focus for this post, “The Dick Pic”, simply put…just don’t. I cannot think of a worse looking part to my body, a tube shaped piece of ever changing length with a vein cutting through (Apologies to anyone eating or never seen a penis before, it looks like that on every male). No girl wants to see a picture of it, no woman is going to be impressed or happy at receiving the drooping tower or flesh. If you are a guy sending it, trying to wow them with how long you think it is, trust me, in a photograph, length is indeterminable making you open to interpretation of small and open to ridicule as we have seen with many instagram models, sharing pictures and posts which men have sent them. The premise of a nude image is to get people aroused, to allow people to admire and enjoy the human form; long legs, chiseled abs, large breasts, bulging biceps, all things that people look out for and can look impressive…a flacid sack of blood does not fit in to this category.

I’m feeling ill righting this penultimate paragraph so I am going to end this here. Plain and simply, claim back your self value and stop sending naked images. One day you will meet somebody who you want to be exclusive to, a practise which is impossible when you could walk down the street knowing that multiple people that you pass have seen you completely whereas your lover hasn’t or worse still when it comes to that moment of the first reveal, they can turn around and say “Oh yeah you look just the same as you did in the picture … sent me”.

Why I don’t celebrate my Birthday

Yeah you read the title correctly, I don’t celebrate my Birthday (Tomorrow-19th May). This may make me come across as somebody who is ungrateful for the gift that is life however I assure you this is not the case.

Maybe I have been corrupted by the modern culture that hard work and achievements are what should be celebrated or maybe I truly have grown up too fast. This year will be the third year running where I haven’t cared less about my age ticking over another digit. I see celebrations as something that should be reserved for succeeding, or achieving something, especially in something that not many people have been able to do. It is with that premise that I do not see that simply living for 365 days (or 366 this year) consecutively as a cause for celebration, even more so as everybody on earth currently alive is capable of achieving the same feat. Being celebrated for just living and being on this earth is not something which I have earned the right to be yet so at the moment people may as well come up to me on my birthday and say “Congratulations on Surviving”. I would rather be celebrated for the things I do, showing that the effort I have put in has not been in vain which is why I felt almost moved when I got several messages of praise and congratulations for my Outstanding Contribution Towards Student Sport Award on the Friday gone after just one year at University.

Tomorrow is just another day, 24 hours long, compiled of breaths, heartbeats and human interactions. The only thing special is that it will be the final complete day I will be spending in Burnley, possibly for the rest of my life. Now if only I could tell my friends this without becoming an eternal social outcast and I’d be made up.

Note about Night Ramblings 3

It has come to my attention that some people saw the satirical and completely made up sketch from Night Ramblings 3 as offensive and a serious dig at the university. At no point was the intention to cause personal harm or offence to anybody or soil the reputation of the institution, it was an attempt at publishing an early attempt of my newer, more adult style of comedy. If anybody took the content as fact, I would like to clarify that UCFB is a well run organisation, with the students at the forefront of their attention, aiding the transition between campuses as much as possible, the reason for the move being the increase in ability to deliver high quality higher education, in a unique manner to which only UCFB can be recognised as doing in England at the moment. The sport focussed university and complimentary curriculum provides students the opportunity to be well rounded individuals within the sports sector, prepared for a wide range of roles within the sports industry post graduation, not limited to the roles specific to the individual courses provided.

One final note, thanks for reading my blog university admins, you’re so sweet…

Night Ramblings 3

At 1pm when my mind was running away with itself, what did I create? A ten minute impressionist satirical comedy sketch again the head of the university…and here it is.

Good Morning and Welcome. I am P****** Professor Perfect Portrayer Perpetuating P’s Profusely P****** W*****, proud head of this University, well a Branch of a University which gets the Resources and Degrees from another university. A little about myself. I started off at the University of Liverpool where they discovered I was useless and they got rid of me where I then went to Manchester Metropolitan where they discovered I was worthless and they got rid of me.

Here at UCFB we aspire and deliver three things which we care about and believe in strongly; Inconvenience, Piss Poor Organisation and Disappointment. If you aspire to the same pillars that we do welcome, if not feel free to leave, only kidding you’re locked in.
Moving to Manchester means more money for me…I mean more opportunities to develop your education through our state of the art facilities which if you do not have a car or cannot afford public transport you will not be having access to. Coaching students you will have to buy the new Etihad Sportswear so we can line my pockets…I mean line the streets with slightly presentable people
Our dedicated team will make sure that you settle in quickly to your new accommodation wherever you are in the city. Just in time for me to unveil in October that we will all be moving to Liverpool, where for the first time we will have One Campus, One City but Two Stadiums to work in, not having a single clue how to use either of them. There have been three things that are close to miracles of God which Liverpool has produced; The Beatles, Scouse and Me. Now there is the opportunity for you to join that list. Only kidding those aspirations will be beaten out of you in the first lectures, isn’t that right Boyd? Of course you will never be as good as me, so polish your teeth and whiten your shoes or something like that.
Any Questions?

Life Goals

If you asked me in November what I would want from my career, I would have said to be the best Football Manager out there, achievements to rival Jose Mourinho, Pep Guardiola and Sir Alex Ferguson.

If you asked me in December what I would want from my career, I would have said to be the world’s best Sports Marketeer or Commercial Director, having a golden touch bringing riches to any team that I worked for.

If you asked me in March what I would want from my career, I would have said to be Marketing Consultant, making large commissions from securing huge sponsorship deals at various sports teams.

However if you ask me now, I would tell you, it isn’t about the money, it isn’t about being the world’s best anything. From my career I want to be confident enough and skilled enough to be able to say to people, “Invest in me”, “Trust me to get the job done for you”, “Trust me with your money, your investment”, “My business will get you to your goal or my name isn’t J**** J*******”. I want to be able to provide a service where there is a need, not necessarily a new and unique product but in a place. (I would put my idea on here but I don’t want to chance it being taken and implemented before I have 35-40 years to create it myself).

Chances are my life goals will change again, and that’s okay, because as I grow and see time pass, I will be able to see how close I am and what I need to do to get there or adjust my views to add some realism to the optimism

Greatest Sporting Moment: Wrestling

One of my many past sports/hobbies, wrestling has been one of my favourite, and unlike you’d suspect my greatest moment came in a match/mini storyline with a girl. Now before anybody condemns me for being a woman beater or anything like that, this took part at a wrestling camp, the outcomes were pre-decided, all of it is a created storyline using moves we had been taught how to use, avoid and protect ourselves from.

I had made friends with a girl while there and we had an idea to be in a mixed tag team match with the storyline to prove we were the best mixed tag team around. Going in to the match she was a heel (Bad Guy) amongst the female wrestlers as she sought to use her strength advantages to dominate the “Division”, I was a slight face wrestler (Good Guy) and the pair we were against were both Faces who we had had previous singles matches with. I was a rather slender technical and high flying wrestler who didn’t rely on strength or power, the same as the pair against us, however my partner as mentioned previously was more built that I was despite being shorter than me and used her power to her advantage. The match had been going on like any other for about 7-8 minutes until I found myself in the centre of the ring with the opposition girl being the legal person. I stood there calling for her to tag the male wrestler in because I wasn’t going to hit a girl, suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder pulling me around, it was my partner. She screamed at me to go hit her, and when I refused she told me to “Man up” and gave me a low blow, to which I fell on the floor and allowed the opposition girl to pin me.

Losing to a girl in any form of wrestling is seen as career suicide so at the next “Performance Opportunity” I stood in the ring and called my partner out. As she stood on the ramp I shouted “Last Match, you cost us the match, the chance to be the best mixed tag team around. And worst you hit me with a low blow, you took a shot, hit me in the balls, now show that you have the balls and meet me in the ring”. She came down the ramp in to the ring where we stood as I crouched to her eye line, silent for about 10-20 seconds before I said “I may not want to hit a girl…but that doesn’t mean I won’t make one TAP OUT!! Right here right now”. She was wearing a black kind of all in one top and skirt with knee high wrestling boots and I had a black thermal shirt, Black Jeans, Black cut out sleeves and Black Vans-type trainers on.

A referee came down to the ring to start the 1 vs 1 submissions match. The first few minutes there was a back and fourth of pushing shoving and some strikes. Then we had a good couple of minutes where we had a series of submissions, reversals and transitions. Then she got me in to an ankle lock removing one of my trainers to make it easier to make the hold tighter, however I was able to roll through and do the same to her, to which she also rolled through to reapply the hold on my opposite ankle removing my remaining trainer. I managed to twist around pulling her to the mat with me eventually standing over her shouting “Let’s make this equal”, as she bent her leg to push me off I managed to take her boot with me, leaving us both with socks on.

As we both got back to our feet she managed to throw me in to a corner where she went for two running boots across the face. Being a rugby player I did not expect her to be that flexible so it took me by surprise when she managed to raise her leg without holding on to the ropes (If she used the ropes it would have been a disqualifiable move only able to last 4 seconds) to place her foot on my neck attempting to choke me out, she grabbed my arms to pull me in closer as she screamed for me to tap. I began to “Fade” and she let go of my arms allowing the referee to check if I had been knocked out by dropping my arm. On the third drop I finally responded to the call, grabbing on to her leg, throwing it away, spinning her around so she lost balance. I place my arm around her neck to suplex her, as I lifted her I bounced her mid section off the ropes to then throw her towards the middle of the ring.

I removed my thermal shirt (as a sign I was going to go for a high risk move) as I then climbed to the top rope for my first signature move of the Swanton Bomb which was more like a forward somersault which aimed for my back to land on her chest however after I had dived she had moved. As I sat up in pain of my back hitting the canvas lined wood she slid in to wrap her legs around my stomach for her first signature move, the body scissors where she would try to crush the chest of her opponents. As she stretched out her legs to increase the pressure she shouted “I’m going to drain the strength out of your puny abs”, despite my acting efforts to get out we rolled around the middle of the ring with me in the hold for about two minutes.

I managed to squirm my way behind her, able to make my way to my feet, I used my second signature move, only able to be described as the Glam Slam (Used famously by Beth Pheonix). I lifted her up off of me and dropped her on to her front. In an attempt to finish the match I bent her legs so that her shins were against my chest and I grabbed her arms pulling them towards me lifting her upper body in the rocking horse submission. She told the referee that she tapped out and even though the bell had rung, I maintained the hold with her screaming out, until the referees pulled me away and put me in to my corner where I stood wide eyed and wide smiled with my arms in the air.

This match plus promo had everything that a top quality match could have had, if it were to be viewed by Dave Meltzer, I’m sure it would have been given a five star rating.

It had:

A double Face/Heel turn as I fought a girl to OTT limits and she had become a figure standing up for women’s wrestlers.

A specialism match stipulation.

Near Falls and a two way match up.

The inspiration for my “The Doctor” Character.

It set up opportunities for other guys to come in and stand up against me, it gave female wrestlers a chance to stand up against me.


I hope at some point I can get back in to competing within the squared circle,  below are videos of some of the moves mentioned.

Ankle Lock-

Corner Footchoke-

Swanton Bomb-

Body Scissors-

Glam Slam-

Rocking Horse Submission-