Mental Health Blog #18

“Are you happy?”

That was the question of the week…something so simple yet so thought provoking. Last week, someone who I hadn’t spoken to since the break up of my ex and myself messaged me, simply asking the question “Are you happy?”. What was I supposed to say to that? Had I done something wrong and I was in trouble, message being like an “Are you proud of yourself?” moment? Had something bad happened and I should have had a reason to not be happy? No matter what, there was a high likelihood that it would be funnelled back to my ex. So…what did I say? “Yeah, yeah, I guess I really am. This weekend has been amazing, I think I’m starting to get used to this whole independent thing”. Following that message I heard nothing from them for another two days at which point they tried to get a conversation out of  me by letting me know that they had spoken about me. To me nothing will change in my happiness with matters surrounding her until I hear from her even though I am fully aware that that day may never come.

On the whole the past week has been incredible. I nailed my Coaching Group Presentation with my lecturer going on to ask me for my past assignments to use as examples to show first years and the newly hired coaching staff what a first class assignment looked like.

On Saturday was the big event, built up to be some massive three hour uphill task, full of rain, mud and being perilously close to slipping to my death. However it was not as scary as first thought. Being thoroughly underprepared in comparison to the others on the mountain with only my phone to take pictures and two bottles of water as well as wearing football boots I should have failed in climbing Pen-y-ghent. However within two hours and five minutes I had scaled the 694ft hill and returned to the bottom. My legs hurt more in the first ten minutes than the whole of the descent. I would have been stuck up there had I not known basic climbing skills…at one point there were two routes to the same ledge, both of which you had to stick to with one wrong or unbalanced step back forcing you to fall off of a sheer drop. I had reached a step which was too high for my leg so I had to feel my way to an arete and pull my way up the rock face a few metres before leaping off. The views were stunning, but even better were the people up there, everybody said hello and asked how you were, those who you walked with all shared their life stories with you and kept you company so amongst all of the open expanse.

There is so much more I could tell you about the past week but I shall leave that for another day.

I’ve been Crag Banna…signing out.


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