Mental Health Blog #20

I’m confused. I. Do. Not. Get. Girls.

I’ll post a proper update soon but for now I’ve got to say this; I like everyone else I know, has no idea what is going on with my ex. Let’s have a look at the facts and see if they add up:

  1. She acts like I do not exist. (I’m blocked from everything but snapchat and my 5 attempts to make contact since the blockings have gone ignored)
  2. All of our couples pictures are still on her Facebook and Instagram.
  3. The gifts I got her are still on display in her room.
  4. She checks up on me by talking to my friends.
  5. She keeps checking my social media.
  6. Her best (Only true) friend treats me really well when I’ve only met her once.

It is said that there are only two reasons for someone to ignore someone else. They hate the other person or they have been hurt by that other person.

So… if she hates me or I have somehow hurt her to that point of ignorance, why does she keep all of those reminders around? Why does she bother torturing herself wondering what is on my social media? Why does her best friend not hate me or even show slight dislike?

None of this makes sense. Some people have said that it’s a sign she’s still in to me. Some people have said that she’s just an odd/mean person. Some people have said that it isn’t me that has caused the hurt, that it is all still the stress and that she can’t handle the happiness I’d give her through fear of getting over attached and hurt herself. Everyone has said that they hope we work this out and can end up friends. And I really do hope so myself. It’s been over two months now, and in less than three weeks we are both free for Christmas break, if she stays at Uni, she’ll have 3 weeks alone away from home for Christmas, if she comes home she’ll have about 2 people who’d want to hang out. I just want to help, I just want to make her happy, I just want to care for her, I just want to know what is going on in that incredible mind. That’s all I’ve ever wanted regarding her, she deserves so much happiness so any way that she could be hurt and I can’t help is a killer. All I need is that one message, even if it is just “Hi, how are you?” and it stays at that for one day. It is progress, progress towards that better, happier life for the two of us. I don’t believe she intentionally broke her promises to me. It’s always been damage limitation and I can accept that.

I’ve been Crag Banna, rather hurriedly…signing out.


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