Mental Health Blog #21

I give up. I no longer attempt to comprehend the actions of others. I have no idea what is real anymore…

Over the past few posts I have mentioned how I got a like on one of my Instagram Videos by my exes housemate which was then removed. I had settled on the thought that it was accidental and that it was removed for that purpose. However it now seems as though that like was actually meant as a positive view on the post of me singing and was removed in attempt to stop me realising they were checking my social media.

Last night something similar happened. On one of my YouTube Music Cover Videos, from the same girl, I got the comment “Keep it Up 🙂 Great Voice”. Personally as I think I sounded awful in the video there is the chance it was sarcastic yet again but I feel as though they are a genuine enough person to be kind and supportive about my singing. This comment was not removed soon after like the like and I even had the chance to reply to her. As the only way for her to know about the videos were to go through the links on my Instagram it indicates that she (more than likely with my ex) were going through my Instagram posts once again.

So many new questions have come from this; Is she deaf thinking that I have a great voice? Is it just her checking up on me or is my ex in on it too? Is she speaking for my ex who I assume is still staying away for self preservation? As my music isn’t that good, is this her way of trying to woo me? If my ex and she cares so much, like so much and checks up so much then why no message?

I fear that these are yet more questions that will go unanswered but if I post more musical content, there is a chance they will keep liking or commenting and if that’s the only way of communicating so be it. I left a like on her most recent Instagram picture by way of repaying the kindness (And because it was a nice picture). If this back and forth keeps up, surely one of us will have to follow the other or make the first message. I’m open to being kind and friendly with her, like I’m open to being friends with my ex. Obviously if there was an attempt at flirting from her which is about a one in infinity chance (As I am the least attractive, untalented guy around) then props to my ex for bigging me up but I wouldn’t take her up on it…would I… haha. Of course not, couldn’t do that to my ex…even though they have no bro code, I’m still no gonna cause that rubbish between them. However if it is my ex trying to communicate through her…that’s a whole different twisting story with so many more possibilities and thoughts of what to do. I would probably run out of words on this post before I explain it all in depth.

Maybe that will all be for another day, but for now, I’m a confused Crag Banna…signing out.

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