Mental Health Blog #27

Happy 5 Months Sober Day…and all it took was a series of mental breakdowns and the depression of a heavy break up to keep me from drinking.

Oh…and it’s also that Valentines Day thing, wonder if it will ever catch on.

Speaking of romance and relationships today, on Sunday on the train back to Manchester from the Football, I saw a glimpse of my future by how people tell me I act with girls, I spotted a couple with the man absolutely, inexplicably in love with his girlfriend or wife. He gave up the only spare seat for her and throughout he kept his eyes at her, looking in such a loved up way that it is hard to put in to words. He looked at her as though she was the most precious thing in the world, it even made my heart beat faster yet alone his. They held hands and he took such great care of her when she got cold, it was difficult to take my eyes off of them. They genuinely looked the perfect couple, something which I could only dream of.

Yesterday I posted seven experiences that I have had which lead me to believe I may be insane or at least heading that way. Today I have remembered two more which I was meant to add.

  1. Unleashing the Beast- Visions of channelling my inner wrestler, slamming about one of the fold up steel chairs that they use, just causing general damage to tables and walls unleashing all rage in a fit of destruction.
  2. Heavy Come Downs- After all of these events and things that I do at weekends or even when I have a particularly happy and fun day at university, usually when washing up that evening I suddenly feel as though I have been hit by a brick wall, I suddenly lose all energy, having to sit down in the kitchen, complete lack of all motivation to go on and happiness. This depression can often last for the time until I go back to my room or as long as until I go to bed.

Yet more reason why I’m losing the plot and probably should be left well alone. Maybe it is a good thing that my Valentines Day partner is a 2.5kg bag of Rhubarb and Custard Protein Powder.

Anyways, I’ve been Crag Banna…signing out.

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