Mental Health Blog #28

The past week has been strange and eventful, and I’ll try to spare as much of the gory details as possible.

Tuesday I spent some time with the guys for once, watching the football together, checking out my future house for the third year…getting the better looking neighbours pointed out to me in the hope that I’d be the ice breaker that the guys need to get in there with them. With only two girls in history finding me attractive to that point the chances of any of that had been looking slim.

Wednesday and Thursday passed by without much of a fuss until the mammoth day of hustle and bustle on Friday hit like a brick wall. While many people were undoubtedly awake earlier and later than I was, being alert and on my feet from 7am to 9pm definitely took its toll…however that had nothing on Saturday Night.

I still don’t believe what happened.

A few days earlier I had been talking to a friend about a strange increase in sex drive, but when getting told that I would be changing for the worse, I reassured myself and my friend that I would never consciously change…however Saturday, for the first time in over 5 Months, I went to a house party, I went out clubbing and I drank more than all of those months combined (Still not enough to make me lose control of speech or movement), and full Crag Banna was Unleashed.

I had a record of being “amorous” while inebriated, kissing a few people at a couple of parties but this was on another level.

The night began slowly with an air of awkwardness amongst everyone at the party sitting on their phones, silent as the music played in the living room. I knew only three people at the party by name having met them on my previous trip to Lincoln. Made friends and weighed in with a spirited debate between a couple. A while later, on way to the cramped kitchen I met a girl, who was there as a friend of a friend, we hit it off and with that friend went to a club. As the drink flowed and her friend disappeared into the crowd she turned to me, said, “You’re quite fit aren’t you?” before going in for the first kiss of many in the three or so hours that followed, which included, dancing, singing, burgers before returning to her friends house where we unceremoniously did what “mommys and daddys do when they love each other very much”.

Night over? Oh no…

Needing to return to the party, I left, arriving just as the party was winding up. Soon when everyone had gone home or to bed, all that remained were me and another girl who were watching tv on the sofa with her laying her head on the pile of blankets on my lap. As time passed we began cuddling up trying to keep warm in the cold living room. She took control of my hand and began to suggestively conduct my movements to which she said “I’m up for this, but no one finds out about this”. As the second wave of alcohol induced randiness took over and I obliged. Only hand stuff, before she adamantly wanted to take it further saying how she was better than the girl I had be getting along with earlier followed again with the same line “You’re quite fit aren’t you?”.

The last three girls who I have been involved with in this way have all said those same words, is it a northern thing? Is it a cities beginning with S thing? I don’t intentionally hide how I look from people, surely if one day I found something that I found good looking about my self (which I don’t), I’d naturally vainly show it off. Does my face say Hagrid, personality say Swamp Creature but body say Channing Tatum or is it a time bomb? I magically become attractive after a few hours of being around me? Accelerated with alcohol of course…

After the pre bedtime activity, we stood outside and asked if it would be alright if we spooned tonight so she may cheer up because her boyfriend of a few weeks is currently cheating on her with a prostitute in Belgium. Holy s**t I was party to helping someone cheat here. If I had known before I wouldn’t have agreed to any of it apart from being a friend to watch television with.

As proper morning hit we spoke no more of it, keeping it a secret from all those who emerged from their slumbers. Ever since, despite becoming friends on facebook I have heard nothing from her. However as promised I’ve kept in contact (No matter how painfully slow) with the girl who I went to the club with. Neither of us really do one night stands so it would feel less awkward if we met again however with such little to go on we may have to settle for seeing each other on social media.

Other than hang over and work dodging the past few days there is little else to tell with my mind being predominantly occupied by the weekend where girls came along like the proverbial busses.

I’ve been a shockingly lucky monster Crag Banna…signing out.

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